We all, in one form or another, seek validation from others to an extent.
You may have had a taste of this after posting on social media, where others might critique or judge your posts. We also behave in socially acceptable ways when sharing space with others.
Seeking validation from others is not necessarily a bad thing. It becomes unhealthy when the burden becomes too heavy to bear and it impacts the way you perceive yourself.
If you want to free yourself of this unhealthy habit, read on to learn five things you can do today to stop seeking validation from others.
Spend Time With Yourself
We live in a world where we are in a constant bombardment of distractions. You check your email and you’ll find at least 10-15 new emails from brands vying for your attention. You turn on Netflix and sometimes, you binge-watch for hours.
All of these are mere distractions taking you away from what’s most important: cultivating your relationship with yourself. You solidify a positive self-perception when you get to know the different aspects of yourself, and you learn to accept all your qualities–both good and bad.
This helps you to stop seeking validation from others because you know who you are and you are confident in that. Your self-worth banks on not what other people think of you, but what you think of yourself.
Spending time alone is crucial in developing a self-identity you can embrace.
Put Your Inner Critic To Rest
We all have that voice inside of us that criticizes us to no end. It is cold and berating when we make mistakes. It lowers our self-esteem.
This inner critic can make us feel like we’re not enough, and so, seeking approval from others is the natural resort to getting a “good job” or, “you look great!”
Battling with your inner critic does little to help you feel truly worthy of yourself. It’s a war against yourself that never ends.
If you look at it in a different though, your inner critic spews these kinds of comments to try to protect you from external pain because you’ve already anticipated it.
Your inner critic is not your enemy. Thank it for trying to shield you from pain and shift your world perspective from the world as a dangerous place, to one that is loving, welcoming, and accepting.
Letting go of these old stories and unhealthy patterns can lead you to true happiness and fulfillment, and you don’t have to do it alone. Guidance and mentorship are available.
Find out more about a happiness course that can lead you back to yourself.
Surround Yourself With Good People
You’ll find that there are people you naturally jive with, and people who may make you feel less than and not enough. The latter are those you must avoid.
Life is too short to force friendships or situations. Your people will gravitate towards you. What’s meant for you won’t pass you.
Make sure you surround yourself with positive people who recognize your self-worth and respect you.
Stop Seeking Validation and Live Your Life
It takes time to learn how to stop seeking validation from others. It takes time to learn how to use self-care and love yourself. This is a journey; don’t rush it. You’ve got this.
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